Fertility Diary #4: Sperm Lives On

Sperm retrieval 

7th October…big day.

We arrived at 9.45 am and were taken into a small recovery room. The nurse told us what Dave would expect and how the procedure would go. 10.40 am, Dave was asked to follow the nurse to the operating theatre. We had a kiss and off he went. I prayed and asked for him to be ok and to find lots of sperm.

I felt so nervous and worried about how I’d feel if they found nothing. I already said to myself that if it’s not meant then we should leave it. I didn’t want anyone else’s baby. 

25 minutes later the nurse walked in and said “‘They’ve found thousands of sperm, the problem was all his tubes must be blocked.” I said nothing, sat in a chair and cried….my prayers had been answered. 

10 minutes later: Dave was wheeled in on a bed half asleep. I looked at him and told him the good news. We cuddled and cried together. The best feeling ever! 

Dave being the funny man said “I can now fill a pram.” Looking back, that’s how he must have been feeling (that he was not a man).  He never did tell me that he was upset about the situation – he was always positive, mainly trying to keep me calm. 

The nurse came to chat with us about what was to happen next. She said they would call us in the morning as they had to defrost some of his sperm to see if they were alive and swimming. In some cases they don’t survive. Great – something else to worry about!

Two hours later, we were able to leave. I drove home…smiles all the way.

I looked after Dave for the rest of the day, lots of tea and crumpets. 

Dave said he had not felt any pain, only bruising.

Next morning, up early waiting for the phone call….long bloody wait.

At 3.00 pm Dave phones the clinic asking where our phone call had gone!

They said they never phone until late afternoon, the nurse had given us the wrong information. They told Dave that they had defrosted some and all were strong. Dave asked what would happen next. He was told that I would need to meet my nurse who would be with me for all my next appointments and procedures. They booked us in for the 16th October. 

It was now all up to me. The nurse told us I needed to start taking folic acid, (bought that day). Every appointment booked feels like we have to wait 20 years. You kind of wish your life away and you can think about nothing else only baby, baby, baby! 

2020 Reflection from Dave: When I received the letter telling me I had no live sperm it broke me in many places. I love Jay more than life itself, I want her to have the world. I knew not having our own baby would possibly destroy Jay.  All of my life I never dwell on what could have been, I just dust off and move forward. But this was different, I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I truly felt, and to this day it’s not something I really wish to be open about. It has however made our relationship/marriage stronger and we have this mutual outlook. It was our path and we survived. Having surgery many times is a small price to pay! 

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